My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
