I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
