that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
