The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize