Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
