You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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