And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize