You can't motorboat a personality
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
