I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
