That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
