YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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