All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
