I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
