my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
