he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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