I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
