I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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