Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
