Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
