Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
