Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
