erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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