You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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