So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
