Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
