I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
