I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
