dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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