I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
