We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
