Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
