We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
