can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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