Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
