It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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