she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
