so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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