This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
