was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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