When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
