I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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