Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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