tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
