Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
