dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
