oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
