just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
