oh god the rape fog is back!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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