So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
