Dual....:-)
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
