I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize