Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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