i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
