I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
