just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
