Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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