how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
