I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
