is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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