I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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