Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
