I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
