And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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