I wish I only lived at night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
that may or may not have been my penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
